Wednesday, December 8, 2010

40 Weeks: Preggo in Review

Let's start with hearing from people who know WAYYYYY more than I do about this stuff...
It's hard to say for sure how big your baby will be, but the average newborn weighs about 7 1/2 pounds (a small pumpkin) and is about 20 inches long. His skull bones are not yet fused, which allows them to overlap a bit if it's a snug fit through the birth canal during labor. This so-called "molding" is the reason your baby's noggin may look a little conehead-ish after birth. Rest assured — it's normal and temporary.
Your Baby:
-get out get out get out.
-get out get out get out get out.
-get out get out get out get out get out.
-get out! get out get out get out.
-and for real: GET OUT.
Chubby cherub. Your little one has probably reached his final birth weight and length—the average baby is 7.5 pounds and 20.5 inches long (boys are a bit bigger than girls). Because he's been producing fat over the past few months, 15 percent of his body weight is now from fat, which will help him stay warm in the outside world. The rest of him—organs and body systems—is ready for life outside the womb too. He's stored starch in his liver to be made into glucose after birth, and he has extra fluid on board as well. Like a camel, he's well equipped to get through birth and the day after while your breast milk comes in.
Wonder-full changes. As you near the end of your pregnancy, take a moment to reflect upon the incredible transformation your body has undergone in the past nine months. Your uterus is now a thousand times as big as it was when you conceived! And your breasts are two to three times larger than before you got pregnant; to prepare for breastfeeding. Each breast has gained about a pound and a half.

Hmmm... reflecting on three pounds of boobage and a thousand times bigger uterus???
Holy Lardass Batman. 
Sooooo let's take a look back at the past 40 weeks, shall we?

14 Weeks: 
Compared to what I look like now, GIRL eat a sandwich! :)

16 Weeks: 

18 Weeks: 

Andrew still agreed to take pictures at this point. 

20 Weeks: 
This is where he quit and I started taking my own.  He only lasted 3 blog posts. :(

22 Weeks: 

24 Weeks: 
The experts say I will probably look more like this when I come home from the hospital.  This is 6 months. Bummer.  You mean my body doesn't automatically pop back to what it was before? (Only if you have a plastic surgeon in the room after delivery!)

26 Weeks: 
Brian becomes a regular.  (He haz a sad.)

28 Weeks: 
Poor, poor dog. 
30 Weeks: 
Now I haz a sad.

31 Weeks: 

32 Weeks: 
My feet hurt just looking at this picture. 

33 Weeks: 
My ears hurt looking at this picture. 

34 Weeks: 
He's the one that wanted to be a turtle for Halloween.  I think he meant Ninja Turtle.  Or as my brother would say, "Muntanant Injun Turtle".

35 Weeks: 

 36 Weeks:

37 Weeks: 

38 Weeks: 
I'm really not wearing the same shirt two weeks in a row. This one is a tank.  Not that it really matters.  But of course I would worry about that.  :)

39 Weeks: 

40 Weeks: 
We. Are. Ready.

So today is my due date.  I'm still working.  I guess it's better than being at home.  I would just drive myself crazy.  So instead I go to work and let other people do it. 
"Hey, you're still HERE?"
"You had that baby yet?"
"When ya gonna have that baby?"
"When is your due date again? TODAY??? WOW."
"Tell that kid to hurry up." 
"Can you have the baby tomorrow?" 
"Do some jumping spicy food...drink castor oil... shovel the driveway... re-roof the house... eat raw chicken... get drunk... take up smoking..."
Oh wait wait those last few can't be right. 
Must be the pregnancy hormones.
This is a great episode of 30 Rock.  Another great line is, "She has put on considerable boob weight.  She’s not use to that and sometimes she… just falls over."

It's really not driving me crazy, I promise.  I'm enjoying the comments.  The best one I've gotten so far is, "Wait, did you know you were pregnant?"  I laughed out loud.  Anything to keep from being at home and not having anything to do.  I can find stuff to do at work, always.  But at home, it's a bit harder.  Which is probably why Andrew is going crazy working from home this week.  Poor guy.  Anyone have anything he can do? ;)

My doctor's visit this week told me I'm now at 2 cm dilated.  So that's good news. 
They like to use the word "anytime!!" a lot. Well it better be! We're waiting on you, little Thornburg.  Come out and meet everyone!

Pregnancy and Childcare Instructions for Week 40: 

They are good Thanksgiving pants. 

Darn. :(


The Goldmans said...

I worked right until I was induced and I was 2 days late when they induced me, so I feel ya on the comments, everyday I had to leave work with a list of what I was working on and where I left off. It really got to be quite entertaining! Cant wait to see pics of baby Thornburg! Oh and email me anything, the total brutal honesty goes for after care too :)

bk said...

I was reading your post and thinking about that kid hanging on to whatever he can get his hands on in there saying, "Fuck that noise, it's freezing out there." Hang in there you are almost done waiting. I'm pretty excited. love you guys!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...